


Swashbuckling Assholes

by annoyedraccoon



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, M/M, Pirates, Rated for strong language, Slow Build, im pretty sure this is actually a comedy im so sorry everyone, literally the worst mouths on these boys, ridiulous amounts of fantasy and mythological shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-04-08 01:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4285779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annoyedraccoon/pseuds/annoyedraccoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean Kirschtein is a British solider who in a lovely turn of events gets captured by a hopeless band of pirates. However, he finds out just how terrifying these pirates might be, being surrounded by legends and mysteries, and how much of an asshole captain Eren Jaeger is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> !!Hello!! I have been planning this fic for a year!!!
> 
> shout out to best bud evr IggyLikesToExplode, bc we have been friends FOR A YEAR and we came up with this au together and got rlly obsessed with it lmao. You are the coolest thing since sliced bread, iggy, ily!! hope you enjoy that I finally wrote this thing, so happy anniversary!!
> 
> All in all, if you're looking for a ridiculous fantasy lined story with pirates and angry boys with sexual tension, congrats, this one should do the trick. Hope you enjoy! (Also v sorry the beginning might seem a bit dull bc i mean it's an intro so sorry but i promise it cool!!)

He awoke with a throbbing headache, the sounds of chaos all around him. As his senses came back he could smell the gun powder from canons and the sizzling of fire against damp wood. Water sloshed against the hold of their grand ship, and it was sinking. There was fire...and shouting...What even happened...

Pirates, Jean remembered. Those assholes were what happened.

Shit, he’d gotten knocked out. Where were the others? Marco, even Connie, they had to be around somewhere, he hoped they weren’t killed... 

He and his friends had been in the barracks, talking and laughing, when the fucking pirates showed up. They were British troops, coming back from a patrol in the Americas. Recently the patrols had picked up, since the colonists haven’t been too happy about their taxes getting raised. Jean didn’t question any of it, though. He just did as he was told as a solider. But now they were on their way back home to England, and they couldn't be happier.

“Haven’t you guys ever heard of nice stories?” Marco was whining after Connie told the other two a ridiculous ghost story.

“Did that seriously scare you?” Jean asked with a laugh. “He didn’t even tell it well.”

Marco glared at him, which wasn’t easy for him to do with his cute freckled cheeks and button nose.

“It’s not funny, I just really don’t like ghost stories.” He sighed, taking a drink of his whiskey. Connie shrugged.

“Well, I’ve never heard of a good story that wasn’t funny or scary.” He said, scratching his buzzcut. “And you told me my funny ones were too ‘inappropriate’.” He added, the final word dripping with mockery.

“Looks like that’s what you get if you don’t have a story, Marco.” Jean said, nudging him. 

Marco thought to himself for a moment and offered, “How about real stories then?”

Jean raised an eyebrow at his friend. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean...” Marco looked around. “Have you guys ever heard of The Berserker?”

The room felt colder at the mention, but Jean shook his head. The Berserker was apparently within a band of pirates that were cursed and had powers to transform into grotesque monstrous people, as if pirates weren’t disgusting enough. He’d heard of it, but never put any stock into it. “That’s just a myth, Marco. Don’t get worked up over them.”

“I’ve met people that have seen them.” Connie countered, and the way his big eyes were lit showed he already had a story coming. “My friend’s brother’s wife’s sister’s son, _she_ said they were sailing one day, and they were attacked by this menacing dark ship crawling with monsters, and suddenly a giant squid—”

“I have a firsthand story.” Marco interrupted seriously, making Connie’s fib falter. Jean stared at him.

“You’d never mentioned this before.” The blond man said, and Marco shook his head.

“I don’t talk about it much.” He explained, but with Jean, Connie, and the other men in the barracks now watching him curiously, he sighed. “But I’ll tell you.”

“This was a couple years back, when I was fifteen—still helping my father out at his bakery. The Berserker wasn’t really heard of. We were a harbor town, so pirates tended to show up sometimes. But it’d never been like this.”

Marco picked at the wood of the table. “These pirates raided us with expertise. They were obviously a people who knew how to steal, and how to strike fear...Especially when their captain showed up at my doorstep.”

A hush fell over the other men, everyone listening to Marco’s tale. Jean had no idea why, he’d barely heard anything about this folklore, but the way Marco said it, as if he was remembering every detail now...

“Who’s the captain?” Jean asked, finding himself leaning forward. Marco’s eyes drew up to Jean’s, looking fearful.

“The Berserker.” Thomas Wagner, a blond man behind Jean answered for Marco. “He’s supposed to be the worst of all of them, he isn’t even remotely human.”

Connie nodded. “I heard he’s goes completely mad, he’s out of control.”

“I heard gets to be 15 meters tall!” Another man added.

Marco shook his head. “I’ve heard that too, but it’s not quite. He was flanked by two other pirates, and they seemed to keep him at bay. Those two, they seemed pretty average, but The Berserker, he...”

Marco shuddered. “He was a _monster_. He was tall, maybe seven foot tall, and radiated searing heat. His skin...It didn’t look normal; it looked crystalized and fragile as well as tough. And his eyes seemed to glow from their sockets, and his ears were pointed. His mouth...” Marco drew a line with his finger across his face. “It went from ear to ear, with sharp teeth that showed through, like his skin wasn’t enough to cover it. And a lot of him was speckled with these sea green, sparkling scales, like he came from the bottom of the ocean.”

“That’s awesome.” Connie commented with wide eyes, but Jean sent him a glare so Marco could continue.

“He didn’t speak—I don’t think he could. But the two at his sides, they asked rather politely to take rations of my father’s goods. I attempted a noble act of bravery, of course, telling them they had no right to our food. And something that was bothering me about them was...” Marco shrugged. “These were strange pirates. They couldn’t have been older than me. They were _kids_.”

“So after my stupid speech about justice,” The boy sighed, looking around at the people listening. “They threatened me. They seemed like they were trying to be so polite about it too, like they were mocking me. But the boy there, he said he didn’t want this to be ‘a life for a life’, and that their captain could still take this in his own hands.”

Marco laughed humorlessly. “I was really stupid. My father told me to back down, he didn’t want me to get hurt, but I pulled a knife on the boy. And when I did that, The Berkserker, he just _lost it_. He attacked me.”

“So what happened?” A blond man off to the side asked, as Jean stared at his friend.

Marco was about to answer, but suddenly superior officers rushed down, shouting orders. 

“Enemy ship in sight! We need all hands on deck! They aren’t military!”

“What?” Thomas exclaimed. “Are they pirates?!”

It went into an uproar. Marco was staring at the spot their officer had been standing, motionless and with a look of terror. He should never have to face pirates again, whether his story be real or not.

“Is this some kinda voodoo summoning crap, Marco?” Connie demanded, standing from his seat and knocking over his beer.

“W-what? Of course not!”

“Shit...” the smaller man murmured. “If I don’t come home, Sasha’ll be pissed...”

Those two both had girls they had to go home to, didn’t they? Jean remembered Marco talking about a lady named Mina he wanted to propose to when they returned to London.

What did Jean have to go home to? He didn’t really have friends besides these two, and he’d never met his father and his mother died of illness a few years back. Another reason he was sick of living a poor life.

Maybe he’d get to die honorably or something. Maybe people would actually remember him that way.

Immediately he’d lost those two in the blur of action taking place, and he’d emerged on the main deck with his musket, to pirates. Those mangy, gruff men, going through and attacking his men in the shadows of night. Jean watched as comrades he knew went down, and he had to force himself to fight. Even if fighting back brought him to the same disgusting level as those thieves.

Jean hated pirates. They were cruel, viscous, cheating people. Killing men, raping women, stealing from everyone. How could they do that so happily? They were crazed, doing whatever they could to get what they wanted, no matter who was hurt. They seemed to prefer it that way. Jean watched as a man in front of him, Jean was sure it was Thomas, suddenly get his throat slit. Thomas crumbled to the deck, leaving Jean staring in horror at the tall man in front of him. He felt his legs shaking before he managed to run away from him and look for the life boats. He knew better than to try and fight some giant guy with two sharpened cutlasses in his filthy hands.

Jean wanted to say he joined the Military so he could catch Pirates, protect his family and friends (that he didn’t have), protect England, and all of that crap, but he was honest with himself. Those dirt bags are malicious, and he didn’t want to have to deal with them. He wanted to move up his ranks so he could live a peaceful, protected life with all the food and shelter he could have. Being in the Military had some of the highest pay after all. Maybe he'd find a nice girl to settle down with.

But, seeing as how pirates were attacking right now, Jean had to wonder how that was going to happen.

 

After remembering all this, Jean’s mind went back into gear and he forced his aching body up, finding he was surrounded by fire. So he must have gotten knocked in the head at some point and passed out. Damn it. 

He could hear people yelling in the distance. Where was everybody? There were far less people running about now...

Jean unsheathed his sword. He had to get off there, this ship was going down. He had to find someone, was there anyone left? Besides the fire, the night left him in darkness. It looked like the battle was long lost, he shouldn’t pretend they still had a chance...

Jean finally saw the silhouette of a man among the flames. He wasn't in any military uniform; he wore a long dark coat and a matchlock slung over his back. He could also see his messy hair brushed his shoulders, which was against their dress code. He was definitely one of the pirates. But this time, Jean didn't feel as afraid.

“You!” Jean called, probably a stupid move, but he didn’t care. He’d just had to hear a story about how pirates attacked his only friend, he wasn’t in the best of moods for dealing with the assholes. He pointed his sword in the pirate’s direction.

The man turned, and the first thing Jean saw was his eyes. They looked gold, reflecting the flickering lights of the fire shining behind his head. He hadn’t been moving, only watching the flames—what, was he admiring his work? What a sick asshole—

He couldn’t see his face, but the man showed his oddly white teeth in a smile (what pirate had white teeth?), and Jean couldn’t see whether it was sincere or malevolent. Likely the latter. “Do you mean to kill me?”

“Of course not.” Jean spat. What the fuck, he didn’t want to _talk_. “That would mean going to your disgusting levels. I don’t kill.”

“Hm.” The bright eyed guy only said, adjusting his hat. “That’s too bad. Then what’re you even doing?”

“I—” Fuck, the bastard had a point. “I-I’m going to fight you. And bring you back to England so you can face your crimes.”

The pirate stepped forward, and Jean fully saw his face. He didn’t look brusque like most pirates. His face was unblemished but dirty, with sun-kissed skin and bright eyes. And he looked around Jean’s age, too, and shorter than him. He couldn’t be over twenty, which Jean found really strange.

“I really don’t see how you’re going to manage that.” He pointed out, gesturing to their surroundings. “You’re alone and your ship is going down. You might as well try to escape with your life.”

“You saying I won’t stand a chance against you, shortie?” Jean tried to laugh, but instead choked on smoke and started coughing. The pirate looked slightly concerned.

“Are you dying, mate?”

“No—shut up! Don’t—aggh!—call me mate!” Jean composed himself and pushed his sword further, as if to stab the man, but he didn’t even flinch. Jean knew he was being ridiculous. But he didn’t see another English man in sight. There wasn’t a chance at his survival now. Everyone was either dead or gone. 

Honestly, he was in shock that Marco and Connie would abandon him. And he’d rather not think about the possibility they were dead.

“I’ll fight you.” Jean said again, and the tip of his sword was now hitting the pirate’s chest. But then the man fixed him with a glare, still not drawing his own sword strapped to his side along with his dagger and flintlock and _wow_ was he loaded with weapons. The boat lurched, probably making its way to sinking, but neither man moved.

“Are you just trying to set yourself up to die honorably or something?” The pirate asked. “I hope you realize no one will be able to know you’re acting so valiant right now.”

He crossed his arms, pushing aside Jean’s sword. “I’m not attacking you. You can easily make off with your life if you’d tried to escape. Maybe you could’ve made it to the others' lifeboats if you weren’t dawdling. But you’re not even _trying_ to live.”

“Shut up, only an idiot would do that.” Jean snapped.

The guy smirked. “Then what are you right now?”

“Shut up!” Jean growled. What the hell? This guy wasn’t acting like a pirate. Pirates wouldn’t hesitate to kill someone, and yet this kid was talking like he wanted Jean to live. That had to be bullshit; he’d just attacked his ship! Why wasn’t he doing anything? “I don’t give a damn what you think, _pirate_! Why are _you_ just standing here, then? Huh?”

“I have a name, you know.” He replied. “I’m Eren Jaeger, and you should escape while you have the chance.”

“Oh what, are you supposed to be famous or some shit, Eren Jaeger?” Jean rolled his eyes and kept his sword firmly poking into Eren’s chest. “I’ve never heard of the likes of you.”

He scowled, the fire sparking up behind him and making his face a shadow, except his eyes, and Jean could swear they were glowing with green. The mast began tipping and groaning, almost drowning out the words Eren spoke. “Fine then. You don’t need to know who I am. Just _get out while you can_.”

He said that like there was even a chance at this point, and he was about to remark how he himself was getting off, when suddenly a voice from above called, “Eren!”

They both looked up behind Jean, and a woman—Jesus, Mary, and Joesph, a real live woman, was Jean a lucky person to get a chance to see that in his last hours—was standing on top the highest mast of Jean's ship, her short, choppy black hair flowing behind her head.

She leaped off and sailed over the flames by a long rope, and gracefully grabbed Eren like a rag doll in her path. Jean hadn’t even noticed she was there. And now he had to watch in disgusted awe as the last, despicable people he’d ever see swung onto the other retreating boat.

Jean stared at it, the huge, magnificent, and probably stolen ship, staring for a last moment as he saw that boy—Eren Jaeger, he’d said—look back at Jean from safety.

And now Jean was going to die. Maybe he’d burn to death, the heat was already unbearable, or maybe he’d choke from the smoke, or maybe he’d drown in the middle of the Atlantic. Who knew? Either way didn’t sound too nice. He almost wished that Captain Eren or who the fuck ever just did him in and got it over with.

Why didn’t he? 

_But you’re not even trying to live._

“Shit.” Jean cursed out loud, wishing there was someone to hear him. 

Maybe the asshole was right. Maybe Jean did just settle to the idea of dying. Maybe he did just give up. It’s not like he had anything to get back to, really. 

But, wait. That wasn’t even true. He did have Marco, at least one friend right there, even if he’d been an ass and abandoned Jean. And he had other people in the Military he’d befriended. He had the possibility of a peaceful life waiting for him. Maybe some girls he could take home after telling them his stories about surviving a shipwreck. He did have something he was supposed to go home to. Jean was supposed to return to his _future_. He still had one, didn’t he? 

He didn’t want to die.

“What the hell.” Jean suddenly dropped his sword and threw off his heavy red coat and boots. He first grabbed a large piece of wood off the ship, chucking it overboard. And then he backed up from the side, took a breath, and sprinted. He ran, feeling the searing floorboards burn and splinter his feet, and dove off the hull expertly, splashing into the freezing ocean. 

Well, damn it, he wasn’t going to die. Not without a fight.

He shot up to the surface as fast as possible and soon realized he couldn’t swim that far, anyway, though. The waves were huge. All he knew was the direction his fellow men would be headed. He peered out around the water as he swam to the piece of wood he’d thrown out as something to hold on to. 

The water shined with the light of the fire, the only light he could see, but provided enough. He swore he could see where the other evacuating boats were. He had to get away or else the sinking ship would pull him under. Why did everyone have to be so far already? And why was the water so damn cold?

He tried to yell, but salty ocean flowed into Jean’s mouth and gagged him. He barely managed to stay afloat anyway.

But Jean wouldn’t let himself pull a regular cowardly Jean and give up. You’re not dying today. You’re going to live long enough to give Marco and Connie and everyone a piece of your mind.

So he kept swimming, swimming through the pain of water in his eyes and throat and nose, the drenched clothing slowing his movements. He probably should’ve grabbed a board or something to float on. He hadn’t really thought this through. But Jean still managed to let out screams for help, on the mere chance his people would come back for him. All he could smell was ocean. Man, fuck the ocean, why did he take this job?

Fuck those damn pirates, and fuck that guy that made Jean think fighting for his life now was a good idea. He wouldn’t be surprised if a group of sharks showed up at this point. He could’ve died more peacefully on the ship, with clearer thoughts then _‘damn, I seriously can’t swim fuck’_. Really, he—

“Jean! Jean, Where are you!?” A familiar voice yelled from somewhere in the distance, over the sound of a burning ship. He had to be dreaming; he’d just heard Marco. Holy shit, Marco heard him! He started swimming faster toward the sound. Was he saved? Fuck, life was there in front of him! That glorious freckled angel was coming back for him. And it was all because he didn’t give up. Did he really change his fate so easily? 

Oh.

Apparently not. 

From the wreckage of the ship, maybe something fell, he wasn’t sure, but a huge wave barreled over Jean’s head and buried him deep under the surface. He hadn’t been expecting it, he couldn’t feel what was up or down. He couldn’t process which direction to swim. He felt so lost and confused and he’d swallowed too much water.

Spinning, Jean was spiraling downward, deep into the Atlantic. He grabbed at his throat, desperate for some air. He needed air...

Fuck.

Looks like drowning it was. Jean was going to drown. He really didn’t want to die—hell, escape was right in front of him! Marco was coming back, he was saved...

Jean’s body slowed and the dark water blurred around him, and suddenly he didn’t feel all the dense pressure of water, or the suffocation in his throat. 

Bubbles still danced over his skin, tickling him, and his mind and body surrendered to the sea. The last thing he could remember seeing before he blacked out was what looked like a humanoid figure and shining green eyes staring back at him.

How sad. He was even hallucinating.

 

“...to you Captain, but he’ll end up just another filthy mouth to feed—”

“Taking him hostage will compensate that. Trust me.”

Jean’s heard that voice before...it sounded far...and there were so many other voices...

“Was he a captain? Or admiral?” A higher pitched male voice asked. He heard a groan.

“I don’t know; he might be. But there’s no use in killing him, anyway.”

“He could always be meat.”

“That’s gross, Reiner.” 

“Seriously man, we’re not cannibals.”

“Yet.”

A female voice spoke, sounding very close to Jean, “Eren, you can’t be sure he’ll be worth anything to them. You shouldn’t have risked transformation for him, you could’ve—”

“Mikasa, quit it.” The familiar voice sounded frustrated. “Just _trust me_.”

“Wa-wait, guys, I think he’s waking up.”

The arguments hushed around Jean, so he stopped spying and blinked open his eyes, to see a light dusk around him. The sky was a dull pale blue, vast and without a cloud. The sun hadn’t risen yet, but enough light was provided from the dawn to faintly see his surroundings. He could hear the resonances of the ocean around him, and he had the uneasy feeling of being aboard a sea vessel. 

He was on his knees aboard the middle level of a ship's deck. He wanted to rub sleep and dried salt water out of his eyes, but he quickly realized his arms were tied behind his back.

A bunch of rough, poorly dressed, and poorly groomed people watched him. Jean thought he was looking into the ravenous side of London. All dirty, some with eye patches, some with gold teeth, some with wooden prosthetics. And every eye was on him. He couldn’t even address the relief that he was still alive.

Because he’d been captured by bloody fucking pirates.

This crew looked like it was picked up from all ends of the world. Dark skinned people, fair skinned, Orientals, even one shirtless blond man Jean thought had so much muscle he may as well have been a brick wall. 

The strangest thing was...Jean always heard about bearded older pirates, aged and at sea for decades, but...These guys were barely older than Jean. Some weren’t even out of adolescent years, by the looks of it.

 _They couldn’t have been older than me._ Marco had said in his story. _They were _kids_.”_

Jean shook away the thought. 

And then there was one man who stood, turned away from Jean, having been arguing with his crewmates in front of him. He slowly turned and looked at Jean as well, and Jean took in a deep breath. Despite how rusty his memory was right then, he’d recognize those eyes anywhere.

Jean finally felt conscious enough to look around, and he recognized the woman with short black hair, who’d rescued her ship captain, at his right side. Now with a slightly better view, he saw her toned muscles and defined profile under her baggy peasant clothing and a red piece of fabric tied around her neck. She was very beautiful, despite being a ship wench and sporting dark eyes that glared at him with pure loathing.

At his left was a second woman, this one with blonde hair tied back and a hooked nose. She didn’t look as personally offended as the Asian lady, but she didn’t seem all that cheerful to be there, either. And what was he himself doing there anyway? Last he remembered was drowning.

Jean finally cleared his throat to speak. “Haven’t you heard its bad luck to have pretty ladies on deck?”

He was pretty sure both women would’ve killed him right then if not for the wall of muscles guy cracking up.

“I’d barely call these brutes ladies—” He started with a faint Russian accent, but the blonde girl shot a glare towards him and he shut his mouth.

“Glad you’re good at making friends, soldier.” mumbled who Jean remembered was Eren Jaeger, finally stepping towards Jean. 

He had not expected to see this swashbuckling asshole again. 

Eren looked down on him, his arms crossed over his brown vest and once-white shirt. The other’s had grown silent out of respect, but Jean was really wondering how this kid was their captain. Jean saw now his hair was messier than he'd thought, dark brown and brushing his shoulders. 

“Give us your name and rank.” Eren demanded.

Jean wet his lips. “Why should I?”

“Usually prisoners will answer questions if they care for their lives.” The captain’s eyes glinted with amusement like he was saying a joke between only the two of them. “You _are_ trying to live, aren’t you?”

Oh, very funny. Jean instead asked, “Shouldn't your captain be the one interrogating me?” 

Eren looked at him, puzzled. And then a couple of the other crewmates laughed. 

"I _am_ the captain, you fucking moron." Eren grumbled. 

Jean raised his eyebrows, looking around Eren at the other crew members. "Really? You picked this guy?" 

The other crewmates didn't seem to find this as funny. Eren surged forward and grabbed Jean’s chin pretty roughly, forcing him to look into his huge eyes. 

"Look, kid, I'm the _only_ reason they haven't killed you. Do you want to live or not?" 

Jean's throat felt dry, still in shock at being grabbed so roughly. He growled, "Yes." “Then tell me your name and rank.”

He thought about lying, but didn’t honestly see a point in it. 

“Sergeant Jean Kirschtein,” He stated with pure contempt. “At your service.”

There was an audible groan of disappointment from the rest of the crew members.

The blonde girl at Jean’s left sighed. “Should we toss him overboard then?”

“Annie,” began a light haired boy off to the side, who looked much younger than everyone else. “Come on, that’s a bit forward.”

But she wasn’t the only one saying it. Most of the crew members were murmuring—or chanting, of course, to kill Jean. Yeah, it’s not like he’s right there or anything. Whatever then.

“They won’t come back for him.”

“He’s useless to us.”

“He could make good meat.”

“Reiner, please stop saying that.”

“If he was an admiral, we could probably get some pounds out of it—”

“Captain Jaeger, just give us the word...”

But he wouldn’t. Eren still had his fingers firm on Jean’s chin, almost nose to nose with Jean. His ruby lips were pressed tightly together and his eyes narrowed, penetrating the soldier’s face. 

Why did he seem so reluctant to have Jean die? Apparently they’d fished him out of the water at some point. But why would they even, and why did Eren look—what was the word—anxious? Not that he wasn’t grateful for at least _someone_ not joining the ‘kill-him-dead’ chant, but still. Apparently they’d wanted him for a hostage, but Jean wasn’t important enough to the British. 

The only thing he knew to do was return the glare to Eren, staring at the freckles by his eye, the small scar on his chin, the soot on his face that made him look less tough and more like a little kid who played in the dirt. He seriously wondered how all those burly men (and women) maintained that this guy was their leader. 

Jean felt no reason to respect him—he seemed like an ass—and he doubted he could get them to comply out of fear. He glowered into those irises, ones that never seemed to choose a color. When Jean first saw them, they’d looked gold and fiery, and then green...but right now, they seemed clouded and gray like the sky, calm before a storm.

And hell, was that what this felt like.

Eren took in a breath that Jean could feel on his face.

“No, we’re not killing him.” Eren announced to the pirates finally letting go of Jean and standing. His crew mates deflated with obvious disappointment. “Not yet. He may still come as use for us. And if the Military comes back for him—which I doubt—he’s a hostage and we can bargain. Mikasa, Annie, lock him up in the brig below deck." 

“Aye,” both girls replied, picking him up from under his arms and hauling Jean to his feet. He cursed himself for not being able to come up with a snarky remark, so he just glared daggers into him. And Eren just smiled.

“Hope you made good friends of the British, Jean.” He sneered, his bronze earing glinting in the sunlight peaking over the horizon. “Or else you’re stuck with these “filthy pirates” ‘til the day you die. Welcome aboard the Crimson Arrow, Kirschtein.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter dedicated to Jean complaining about being the prisoner of a bunch of confused pirate baby children and the shit that goes down after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aye i finally added to this crazy ass thing lmao

Jean was miserable. 

Sure, he got to spend the past day coming up with smart remarks to say to pirates. But he didn’t like prisoner life one bit. He was stuck under the deck in a musty chamber with only two lanterns on each side. His clothes and skin were still dirty and stiff from dried salt water. The only upside was that he got the feeling they’d never taken a prisoner before, so there wasn’t filth left from anyone else there. 

The downside to that was they must’ve killed anyone else.

He couldn’t even get himself to eat the food the dirty sailors were giving him. Well, okay, he drank some of the water, although it tasted like shit. He felt so disgusted by the fact he was being taken care of by them and caged up like their pet. 

And the night was just too creepy and quiet, with his lanterns swinging and the Crimson Arrow creaking and swaying with the ocean waves. He tried to sleep but only had nightmares, so he’d stayed up, trying to think of a way to escape. All he needed was a plan.

But he had nothing.

“Why don’t you eat, Jean?” A blond pirate boy asked him the next morning when he saw yesterday’s food still untouched. 

This kid that had come to see Jean wasn’t as disgusting and horrible as the rest. He was the one Jean remembered from being on deck. He had a small and slender body, with pale skin and big blue eyes like a porcelain doll’s—well, he’d assume both eyes were blue, he couldn’t see the left eye under his patch. His hair was fairer and longer than most of the boys, but he had most of it tied up and out of his way.

“What happened to your eye?” Jean asked instead of answering, pointing at the eyepatch on the kid’s left eye. He looked confused at first, but then shook his head.

“Oh, nothing happened. See?” The blond pull the eyepatch away to reveal a perfectly fine matching eye. “My eye’s fine; I only use that so I can navigate in the darkness with ease.”

Jean was puzzled. “How does cutting off half your vision help?”

“It keeps one eye adjusted to the dark. That way, when it’s night time, I switch the eyepatch to my other eye, and then I can see better. Get it?”

He kinda did, but he didn’t want admit it was a good idea.

“Anyway...” The blond continued. “Why aren’t you eating? You’re going to starve yourself.”

Jean pouted in his chamber like a brat. “You don’t tell me what to do. Maybe I wanna starve. Stop calling me by first name.”

The boy sighed, setting Jean’s rations beside him and sitting down outside of his cell. “Well I don’t know what else to call you.”

“By my last name.” Jean mumbled. “Or prisoner. I don’t care.”

“But that’s rude.” He pointed out, and Jean laughed.

“Since when do pirates care about being rude?”

He looked rather offended. “Well maybe we’re different kinds of pirates.”

“A pirate’s a pirate.”

The blond rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I’m still gonna call you Jean. Call me Armin if you’d like. And you should eat.”

Jean groaned but picked up the shitty food. “Why do you care, _Armin_?”

“We don’t want you to die...apparently.” Armin explained. “Our captain risked his life for you, and we have a strategic advantage with a hostage on board.”

“Oh blah blah, you know, the British—” Jean faltered. That was new information. “Wait. What?”

“What is it?” Armin asked.

“Did you just say that ass Eren is the one who saved me?”

Armin shrugged. “We tried to talk him out of it. No offense, but we weren’t all that eager to have our captain die for an enemy. But he told us you were a goner if he didn’t save you. I guess that was supposed to change our minds.”

The blond pulled his hair out of his face, amused by Jean’s surprised expression. “Eren doesn’t like needless death. So you should probably act a little more grateful, instead of preceding his name with vulgar insults whenever you speak of him.”

Jean was in shock. Not only because this Armin kid just used big words and was sounding rather threatening in defense of his captain. But Jean hadn’t known how he’d been saved by them; he didn’t realize it was Jaeger himself that went out of his way to save him. Why would he do that?

The pirate had told Jean he should care about his life, gave him a chance to flee, and now it turns out he’d saved Jean’s life. His whole world got tipped upside down. There’s no such thing as moral fiber in pirates. This Eren guy must have just been an absolute moron.

“You guys attacked my ship.” Jean argued as Armin stood. “You caused a bunch of death. Don’t act like a bunch of saints just because you fished me out of the water so I could be a hostage.”

“Never said we were saints.” Armin reminded him. “I said he didn’t like _needless_ death. We needed your goods, and whoever’s in the way, well, they’re in the way.”

Armin turned back for a moment as he retreated up the stairs. “Oh, and the captain is going to come see you soon, so try to act at least a little decent.”

“Easier said than done, sport.” Jean mumbled to himself. 

Jean wasn’t sure how much time passed before he’d heard footsteps approaching him from upstairs. And then that captain Eren was walking toward him, seeming rather determined. 

“Hey, tough stuff.” Jean greeted him, apparently forgetting all the witty insults he’d made earlier. Eren rolled his eyes.

“Nice to see you haven’t changed.” The sailor commented, propping a hand on hip. Jean looked at him, realizing with the stiffness in his planted feet he was trying to look intimidating. Jean found that pretty hilarious. How did he even end up here, anyways? He was Jean’s age, after all. What led him to becoming the leader of a bunch of stupid teenage criminals?

“I got some questions for you, Kirschteen.” Eren declared, peering down at him. Jean didn’t take the time to stand up for him. 

“Kir _schtein_.”

“What?”

“ _stein_." Jean corrected, more than a little annoyed. "It’s-It’s an ‘i’ sound, not an ‘ee’ sound. I swear if one more damn person pronounces that wrong...”

Eren seemed to consider this for a moment, and the, shrugged. “Whatever. I Have some questions.”

“What, this an interrogation or something?” Jean laughed. “You think I know some deep military secret? Clues to a secret treasure chest?”

Eren raised an eyebrow, but that was about the only reaction he got out of him.

Then he cleared his throat. “Look, it’s none of your business what I want. You’ll just answer my questions because you don’t want us to kill you, right?”

“How are you so sure I’ll go down easily?” Jean asked with his head tilted.

Eren’s face darkened. “You don’t know what were capable of.”

Jean snickered, but decided not to make another comment.

“Anyway,” Eren continued. “Uh, tell me, what part of the army were you? Why were you guys on the sea?”

“You mean my military division?” Now Jean was confused. “Why the hell do you want to know that?”

“Just tell me.”

Jean scratched his head. At least if he answers he’ll get the guy to leave sooner. “We were coming back from the colonies—The British colonies.”

“What were you doing there?” Eren asked. Jean furrowed his brows.

“The fuck do you think? We were patrolling. Controlling the colonists.”

Eren stared at Jean for a minute, and then let out a disappointed sigh. “Ugh. Fucking great.”

“Huh?” Jean stood up as Eren wiped his hands and began walking away. “Hey, wait a second! What the hell were you expecting?”

Eren shrugged. “Since _they_ didn’t tell you, there’s no reason for _me_ to tell you.”

“What the hell, you ass!” Jean gripped his cell bars tightly. “C’mon, you can’t say shit like that and not tell me!”

“Yes I can” Eren said, making a gun with his fingers at Jean before disappearing up the stairs.

Jean let out a frustrated yell and kicked the cell bars. Then yelled again because that kind of hurt.

He slumped down in his cell, defeated. “Could at least let me walk around down here. This is nauseating.”

Night came again, and this time Jean sat alone with his thoughts. He wondered how Marco and Connie were. Surely they’d been rescued by another British ship by then. They were on one of the greatest Carracks of the British anyway, one of the best ships. Surely that loss wouldn’t go unnoticed. 

He found himself trying to picture being home to take his mind off of things. Maybe joining Marco some nights to drink away their problems. Marco had mentioned wanting Jean to meet Mina, whom he’d described as having long black hair and big eyes like gems.

Maybe he’d get to see Connie, too. He hadn’t originally been from London, he was from some rural town south of them. But he could always visit, or they could visit him. Find out who that crazy girl Sasha was he always bragged about. The three of them could share their stories about the sea and the colonies. They could be an exciting trio of tales and exploration.

But the more Jean tried to picture it, the more he saw how unrealistic it was, now. His old life was gone for good. He was stuck with these criminals forever, a hostage that was too insignificant to rescue. Hell, it’s not like they knew he’d survived, anyway. How could they know?

So instead, Jean tried to think about the only good thing he’d ever had: his mother. She was the sweetest woman Jean would ever know, despite how much he failed to show his gratitude. She’d lived in London most her life, but in her youth traveled throughout Europe constantly. That was where she met Jean’s father and his namesake. 

His mother had died a couple years ago. Jean had to work hard to picture her face as vividly as before. He could still hear her voice, though, the way she’d always sing to him, always singing tales about a knight named Jean who was the strongest and bravest of all the knights. Jean never knew whether she meant himself or his father in those stories, but either way he remembered always wanting to be like that Jean. To be selfless and courageous. It was too bad he grew up to be a selfish coward, instead. 

 

Eren came back the day after, his nose scrunched in disgust at the state he found his prisoner in.

“Dude, you look horrible.” Eren remarked, and Jean glared at him.

“It’s not my fault I’m stuck in a brig with shitty food and getting seasick from being down here.” the blond grumbled, half pissed off and half embarrassed by the fact he’d been puking the whole morning.

Eren shrugged as he sat down on a barrel with a plate in his hands. “Well it’s not my fault you’re not even eating the food.”

The captain slid more crap looking rations to Jean, but he only wrinkled his nose at it. 

“Why you here, anyway?” Jean asked. “Don’t you have, I don’t know, a ship to be captaining captain pretty boy?”

Eren squinted his eyes, muttering, “ _pretty boy_?” to himself, and then he shook his head.

“I just have a couple more things to ask.” Eren declared, sort of awkwardly. “This is a bit of a long shot, but...Have you ever heard of a captain Jaeger?”

Jean raised an eyebrow. “Look, I realize you’re self-absorbed, but I—”

“Not me, dumbass,” Eren rubbed his forehead. “I meant...In your ranks. English Military. Ever heard the name? He was a pretty famous guy.”

Jean now cared a little less about knowing that name and more about why he wanted to know. “...Any relation, Jaeger?”

“That doesn’t concern you.”

“Well fine.” Jean crossed his arms stubbornly and turned away. “If you’re not gonna tell me, I won’t tell you about him.”

Eren’s eyes widened. “So you _do_ know him!?”

Nope, he’d never heard the name in his life. “Not tellin’.” 

“Are you _fucking_ —” Eren grabbed his hair in frustration, and Jean started cracking up. He probably wouldn’t have reacted that much any other time, but cut him some slack; he’s been stuck in one room for more than forty-eight hours with no company. Might as well mess with this guy.

“Do you want me to kill you, you bastard?” Eren growled, stepping close, but Jean just laughed more.

“Come on, that threat only works so much. You’ve said it so many times, ya gonna actually do it this time?”

Eren’s eyes flickered with light (Jean couldn’t tell if he’d imagined it or not), grabbing the cell bars to look closely at the prisoner. “Because you’ve complied every time I said it, dip shit.”

Jean smiled. He had no idea why he was doing this; he really didn’t doubt that these pirates were killers, he was just sick of sitting around doing nothing, waiting around to die. “Are you really this big killer you keep acting like? I think you’re a pansy-ass.”

Eren looked really angry now. In fact, Jean was positive his eyes were glowing, then. Must’ve been the way the lantern light hit them. 

But then Eren let out a breath. “You aren’t worth it.”

Jean deadpanned. “Gee thanks.”

Eren turned his back on him, but Jean stood up to stretch and said, “Why did you save me, anyway?”

Eren faltered in his step, and took a moment before he swiveled around to Jean. Jean raised his eyebrows patiently. He cleared his throat and said, “...Because you might end up useful for us. And if your men come back—”

“Oh you know they won’t.” Jean admitted. “This is Great Britain, they don’t have time to deal with a single sergeant. And how the hell would a British solider like me be useful?”

Jean leaned forward in his cell. “Do you even have a good reason to save me, or are you just stupid? Or even _scared_?”

Eren’s gaze locked on the wall, and a generous man would say he looked embarrassed. 

“I don’t want to kill people.” He muttered quietly. “Especially dumb kids like you. That’s it.”

Jean stared at Eren’s back as he stepped away again. “Then why—”

Abruptly, the entire boat tipped to the side with a load groan, making Eren and Jean both tumble into the wall.

As they tried to steady themselves, Jean shouted, “The hell? What was that?”

Eren shook his head, just as shocked as Jean was. “I-I don’t know.”

Then they heard someone rushing down to them, and then the Asian girl appeared beside Eren.

“Eren! Come quick!” She demanded, not even sparing Jean a glance.

“What happened, Mikasa?” Eren asked worriedly.

She shook her head, pulling him back to the stairs. “I don’t know, another sea creature of some sort, you have to hurry. If you can deter it maybe it won’t damage the hull.”

“Shit, we must’ve ventured in their territory by mistake.” Eren’s eyes went back to Jean for a brisk moment, and then he sprinted up the stairs without another word. 

Meanwhile, Jean was confused as fuck.

“W-wait, M..Mikasa!” Jean yelled before she ran after her captain. “What’s going on? Did you say _sea monster_?!”

“Sea _creature_.” She corrected. Her voice had a bit of an unfamiliar accent to it. “There’s a lot of things you don’t know about the world, solider.”

She was about to head back again, but Jean called out to her, “Wait, let me out!”

He was sure this wouldn’t work, but he didn’t know what to do. In all honesty, he was fucking terrified. If some kind of sea monster was out there, he really didn’t want to be alone and toward the bottom of the ship where it could be destroyed and he’d be killed.

But Mikasa didn’t see this horror. She gazed at him incredulously. “What? You think you’ll escape while there’s a violent animal in the waters?”

Jean shook his head. “N-no, just—Let me help. I can try to help.”

Mikasa stood there with indecision for a moment. And then by some miracle she went to the keys hanging on one of the lanterns.

“Look,” She began as she unlocked Jean’s cell, “Eren may think you’ll be useful, but I couldn’t care less. I’m only doing this because everyone here would be better off without you.”

She opened the cell and ran off without him. 

“Uh...thanks...?” Jean stood there for a moment, and then followed up the stairs. When he emerged to finally see sky, there was also some strange huge as fuck lizard-like creature bearing down on the ship. It was a good thing Jean hadn’t eaten much because he was pretty sure he could shit his pants.

It reminded him of the sea creatures Connie would taunt everyone about. He thought maybe it was a serpent of some kind, with leathery greenish skin similar to a toad’s. Its eyes must have been tiny, because Jean couldn’t see them from where he stood. Hopefully that meant bad vision or some shit.

Finally Jean managed to unfreeze himself from the spot and looked around for Armin. He was the only pirate Jean could consider himself familiar with. And finally he saw him, shouting at some other pirates. He sprinted towards him.

“Jean?” Armin shouted over the chaos. “What’re you doing out? And why do you smell _horrible_?”

“Mikasa thought I could help.” Jean told him, ignoring the puke comment. “Now what the fuck is going on? What is that?”

“It’s a—” Armin faltered when the monster let out a loud roar, and then Jean turned to see it was roaring at Jaeger, who didn’t even flinch. The captain was standing as close as he could get to the monster, up on the steering deck, far from any other pirates.

“The fuck?” Jean exclaimed. “What the fuck is he _doing_?”

“Eren’s trying to negotiate peace with her.” Armin explained hurriedly, as if this was a normal thing.

“So what? Is he just fucking _talking_ to it?”

Armin blinked at him like he was an idiot. “Uh, yes.” 

Suddenly, the monster began to sink back into the water, as if in response to the captain. After that, Eren ran down the steps to Armin, giving Jean a weird look but not questioning his being there.

“That went well.” Eren said to his second-in-command once he was in earshot.

“She’s going to let us go?” Armin offered.

“Oh, no, she’s going to kill us.” Eren said casually. “EVERYONE PREPARE DEFENSES!”

Jean stood ground like an idiot as teenage pirates rushed around like crazy with weaponry and shouts.

And then with a massive growl, the big ass lizardy thing burst out of the water, unhinging its jaws and attacking the main mast. It broke in half, the sound of crunching wood under its teeth. 

“Jean!” Armin cried out, helping macho blond man assemble a cannon. “If you’re here to help than _help_!”

“What do I do?” He yelled in response.

“Just go and—LOOK OUT!”

Jean yelped as he dodged the serpent’s giant mouth. One second late and the monster would’ve plucked him right off the ship. He must’ve been right about the bad vision.

Eren happened to run by, shouting, “Don’t let her grab you! Just shoot her with all we got! And Jean, god damn it, help us! Weren’t you a solider or some shit?”

That’s right. Help. Help dirty fucking nasty thieving—

The serpent started pecking down again, trying to snatch people off the ship. Jean couldn’t help getting déjà vu. It was just like how it’d been watching his own ship go down. That wasn’t something he wanted to watch again.

Jean rolled to dodge another go from the monster, but when he saw it again he realized in horror it had blondie away from his cannon he’d been loading.

“Armin!” Jean screamed, and he noticed the kid wasn’t completely hopeless yet. Armin was grabbed by the shoulder, but he managed to rip a dagger from his waistband and stab the beast. With that it loosened its grip on the pirate so he managed to pull himself on top of its lengthy muzzle. But now Armin was dangling from way too high of a fall for him to get down from it. Not only that, but he obviously had a horrible wound from getting pierced in the shoulder. Jean had to move fast if he wanted to get him out of there.

He ran for the cannon. 

“I didn’t sign up for _any_ of this, damn it!” He cursed as he lit the fuse and aimed at the beast’s neck. 

Jean looked around quickly, and caught eye of the half broken mast over the steering deck, its top half just one push from falling over. And for once in his sad life he had an idea. He turned to the side and saw the Mikasa girl already moving, looking at Armin in horror.

“Hey you!” Jean called. “Come hold this cannon, aim it at the neck, hurry! I got an idea!”

He was surprised she complied at all, but maybe she was already just lost on what to do for her shipmate. She ran over without a word and aimed the cannon for him. Before it even fired, Jean raced forward and up to the steering deck. He must’ve been pumped on adrenaline or something because he had no idea where this energy and nerve was coming from. And why the hell was he actually trying to help these guys?

The cannon fired and made the serpent suffer a blow to the neck. It screeched in pain, and the little blond pirate boy squeaked as he almost fell. It seemed he’d been keeping up his own fight just keeping himself on the sea creature without getting eaten.

So without any other thing to do, Jean leaped off the ship wheels podium and kicked down the mast—right on top of the beast. The serpent roared as it went down, along with Armin. Jean didn’t know if the blond would make it, he was falling much too far from the ship; Jean was thinking best case scenario it’d fall closer and Jean would be able to help him back. But now he was helpless, and could only watch as the pirate went down with the monster, submerged underwater.

Jean looked down at the mess that was made—it looked like there weren’t many casualties, but many were injured and the ship was a mess, especially since now the main mast was destroyed. And not only Armin was missing now, but Jean didn’t see the captain anywhere, either.

“You!” Jean ran down to the main deck only to get stopped by Mikasa. She had ash all over her face. “Did you take her down? What the hell happened? Where’s Armin!?”

“I—” Jean felt sick again. Was the only pirate that talked to him like a human being really gone? He had to see, he took down the beast but he couldn’t... “I-I don’t—”

Suddenly a horrible scraping sound came from the hull. The pirates grew tense, but Mikasa shouted, “Hold your fire!”

Jean didn’t know why the hell they’d do _that_. If the monster was coming back and fucking with the hull they were screwed. 

But according to her orders, no one moved, and then some smaller, horrifying monster appeared, crawling its way up the side of the ship and—to Jean’s horror—it had a limp Armin on its back.

Jean searched the ground desperately for some kind of weapon, so freaked the fuck out he didn’t even realized none of the other pirates were going into action.

He finally gave up and just unsheathed a sword off of another pirate’s belt, and he ignored his protests.

“Drop him!” Jean commanded, and oddly enough the green, scaled humanoid jumped onto the deck and set the boy down gently. And then it straightened, standing at least seven feet tall, and stared at Jean with terrifying glowing green eyes. Jean quivered under its gaze, but he refused to put down his sword. He could hear pirates protesting, but there was too much blood rushing in his ears and fear in his thoughts to even decipher what they said.

The monster had a huge mouth that its skin didn’t even cover, and pointed ears like a fairytale elf. It glittered with scales the colors of ocean and seaweed, and any skin uncovered looked crystalized and hardened, and steam rose like he was extremely hot. Other than that, it almost looked human. It had dark mopping hair that touched its shoulders. It even had the shambled remains of clothing ripped and torn over its body, although it barely covered anything.

Suddenly the beast seemed to notice the blade in Jean’s hands and roared at him. So in a moment of fear-driven stupidity, Jean charged the monster before it could attack. But instead of reaching it, he got tackled down by what had to be a bear. Jean was pinned to the deck, and he looked up to see the giant blond man disarming him.

“Don’t you dare touch him, prisoner.” He growled threateningly.

“What do you mean, you psycho! That thing has—” He faltered when he saw the raven haired girl approaching the monster cautiously. Jean’s heart pounded as she raised her hand. The monster had a deep growl rising in its throat, but it didn’t attack her.

“Hey, it’s me, Mikasa. Calm down.” She said gently. The beast continued to shake and growl, but the girl put her hand on the side of its face. The shaking ceased.

“You shouldn’t be transforming so much, Eren.” She continued, and Jean’s mind blanked. “Just let go. It’s over now.”

The beast started shaking again, its scales starting to peel like spikes on its body. As Mikasa talked, Jean noticed another crewmate coming from behind and picking up the passed out Armin.

“Everyone’s okay.” Mikasa added softly. “You don’t need to do anymore. It’s okay, Eren. Come back to us, please.”

And just as Jean was sure of two things—that everyone here was psychotic and Mikasa the beauty was about to get torn apart—the beast started to shrink and shrivel with pained whimpers. 

And just before Jean’s eyes, he saw the beast turn into a boy. A tired, torn up and injured Eren Jaeger.

The captain dropped to his knees as he panted with effort, and Mikasa held him upright by his shoulder. The huge guy got off Jean and helped Eren to his feet.

“Is...everything okay?” Eren asked quietly, becoming sheepish after realized his entire crew was watching.

“Yes.” Mikasa replied. “You saved Armin, and...” her gaze slid to Jean. “The prisoner drove off the serpent.”

All the pirates eyes went to Jean, as did Eren’s. 

As for Jean, he asked as calmly as he could possibly manage as someone in his situation, “WHAT THE FUCK?”

Eren watched him closely with those eyes, the same ones that had just been looking at him, but glowing, and terrifying. His shirt was completely ruined, showing a huge amount of sore skin that had been covered in scales and crystals only minutes ago. Eren, that guy, he was, he...

 _These pirates raided us with expertise. They were obviously a people who knew how to steal, and how to strike fear...Especially when their captain showed up at my doorstep_.

“Y-you, you’re a...monster?” Jean shook his head, his words not coming out like he wanted. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling. Confused, betrayed, downright _scared_ , “T-that’s why you talked to...that monster? That _thing_? What the hell is this? What are you?”

Mikasa glared daggers at Jean, but Eren pulled her away as he stepped over to Jean slowly. Jean didn’t realize he could feel this afraid of that guy. He’d taken him to be so much less, just some weird, bitter asshole, but now he understood why everyone followed him, why he was their leader...

He couldn’t stop thinking about Marco’s story. The horrifying tale he had about pirates.

_He’s supposed to be the worst of all of them._

_He isn’t even remotely human._

“You said it yourself, Jean.” Eren said carefully, his words like venom. “I’m just a monster.”

Jean stepped back, his eyes darting around at the other pirates, and in that terrified moment he was completely positive he’d never leave that ship alive. Suddenly this kid’s threats made a whole lot more sense, because he was the greatest murderer on that ship.

“You’re the Berserker.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so hey thank you anyone who read!!!! i honestly love writing this so much!!! im sorry i seriously cannot keep modern fuckboy slang out of this, im garbage. also, i can't promise when it'll update again, but it definitely will because this story is so fun i could never abandon it. let me know if you have any questions and thanks for everything!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> As always, I apologize for my inconsistent and mediocre writing style and any mistakes I may have missed. I'm not here to present quality work, only a fun story for my fellow erejean fans.  
> If you have any questions or comments, feel free to talk here or go to my ask on tumblr at serrie-smiles.  
> I hope you enjoyed it B)


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